Welcome, fellow Americans, fellow Christians, fellow fellows, to EER: The Everyday Ethan Report. Kick back, relax, and have a good time!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

EER: 01/20/2010

Part 1: Book Learning. The old term for any type of reading. Can you believe that, way back when, people thought that ALL books were good for instruction? Now, people think the exact opposite...and they're right. Books used to be educational, narrative, and intellectual. Now, if books teach you anything, they are categorized as "self help" or "text manual" books.
People, I am here to tell you that you can learn almost anything from books...just make sure you look up whatever you think you've learned before you put it into effect. For instance, in the book "The Brotherhood of the Rose," the three main characters besiege a house using homemade Molotov cocktails. These are made by mixing gasoline and laundry detergent in a glass bottle and stuffing a small strip of cloth (again, soaked in gasoline) into the mouth of the bottle and lighting the concoction. Would I recommend doing this? No. Did I do it? You bet.

Part 2: Bush? Where is the guy now? Have you heard anything about him or where he is at this moment? Does he still hold some sway over America? Well, hold onto your seat, because I am going to "expose all" I currently know about what George W. Bush has been doing lately!
Believe it or not, Democrat and Republican have joined forces to relieve Haiti! That's right; George W. Bush and Bill Clinton have founded the Clinton and Bush Haiti Relief Fund...together!
What a testament to what we can do if we just put our heads together! Also, Bush has returned to his native home of Texas and is writing a book about his presidency! Can't wait to get my hands on that piece of literature!
But Guys, don't stop praying for Mr. Bush. He is a public speaker currently and still holds tremendous sway in America. Perhaps one day he will be a senator again; perhaps not. Whatever happens, pray that God will keep his hands on Bush and his family.

Part 3: What is Unitarianism? Well, Unitarianism is a disbelief in the Holy Trinity. If you do not know what that is, look it up. Unitarians hold the belief that God is, in fact, only one person in one person. Hence, Jesus and The Holy Spirit do not exist. God himself came to die for our sins, God himself is now dwelling in us, and God himself is one in himself.
This is definitely not true (sorry to any Unitarians reading my blog, but what can I say?). The Bible explicitly states that God is Three in One: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Churches have believed this forever and it is absolutely true. God the Father created the Heavens and the Earth; God the Son came to earth to die for our sins, defeated death, and returned to Heaven to sit at God the Father's right hand; and God the Holy Spirit is dwelling in us and aids us in our every day life. Many people believe that God the Spirit is our conscience. This is also not true; our conscience is our own spirit, which is still in touch with God.

Part 4: Cosmic Radiance? That is correct, America: cosmic radiance. The stars in the Heavens reflect the Glory of God in everything that they do, and above the small town of Lebanon, Oregon, they shine brightest of all. Far from the lights of any major city, the stars above Lebanon had returned last night and peeked through the curtain of clouds which, even now, disguises the glories of space as a gray sheet.
Also, let me recommend a viewing point for these wonderful bodies; Pineway Golf Course Restaurant. Residing on a hill slightly outside Lebanon, on a cloudless light you can see for miles around!

Let me leave you, America, Christians, friends, readers with a verse which caused me to leave behind my sins and turn to God with my troubles. And remember, brothers and sisters, that you are the future of this nation, the past of this nation, and that you are this nation. The choices you make affect all of us. So please, serve God with your lives, and remember, I love fan mail and hate mail, so don't be afraid to drop me a line! I'll even put my email address below, so go ahead and spam it!

Ethan D. Stroup

frost.everknight@yahoo.com

Acts 17:24

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

EER: 01/19/2010

Part 1: Sandwiches. Yes, dear reader, sandwiches. Possibly the most glorious invention ever created by mankind is the sandwich; but how did our glorious food thing get its start? Well, I shall tell you!
In (insert long ago date here), the Duke of Sandwich (also known as Lord Sandwich) was drinking a pint of ale and trying to eat his shank of mutton at the same time. He turns to his butler, whose name was probably Jeeves, Alfred, Albert, or Geoffery, and says, "Dear God, (Jeeves, Alfred, Albert, Geoffery), 'tis so hard to eat yon shank of mutton and drink mein ale at the same time!" (Jeeves, Alfred, Albert, Geoffery) turned to him and said, "I have a great idea, sir. How about I take the meat off of your mutton bone and put it between to thin slices of bread?" Then the Duke of Sandwich said, "No, no, that's a terrible idea. But how about you take the meat of my mutton bone and put it between to slices of bread?" (Jeeves, Alfred, Albert, Geoffery) took the mutton and sarcastically said, "Excellent idea, sir. I only wish I had thought of that."
Thus, America's greatest portable food was invented.

Part 2: Obama. Our new president. The leader of our nation. The head of the executive branch. His campaign, however, was shrouded in scandal. Was he born in Hawaii, or in Al-Sadat? Is he a Moslem, a Christian, a Buddhist? No one seems to know, but with a preacher that cusses from the pulpit, I can guarantee you he is probably not under the best influence.
But America, that doesn't mean you should stop respecting him or stop praying for him. After all, God says to respect the powers he has placed over you. Doesn't that make sense? After all, even if his only goal is to further the coming Apocalypse, God has placed him there for a purpose. So, continue to pray that our new president will do his job correctly.

Part 3: Buddhism. The worship of tubby tummies. But seriously, my fellow Christians, half of America call themselves "Christians," but what are we really? Recent studies have shown that most segments of Christianity lean towards Buddhism, and almost all Christians believe that God is an absent force, no longer in control of our lives. Buddhism is on track, however. Their religion has stayed the same for hundred, maybe thousands of years. Their fundamental beliefs have not changed. So why have ours?
I'm not saying you should go sign up at your nearest temple. As a matter of fact, that is the OPPOSITE of what I am saying. I'm trying to tell you that we need to stick by our guns, America. Stop calling yourself a Christian unless you A) Believe that Christ was the redeemer of mankind, that he died and rose again to save you from your sins, and that he is the divine Son of God who is even now sitting at God's right hand looking down on you, B) Read the Bible frequently and seek the Lord's help in understanding it, and C) Pray to God the Father without ceasing. Our scripture hasn't changed, so we shouldn't either.

Part 4: Lebanon, OR. I live in a small, rural town called Lebanon, Oregon. If you look us up online, you will discover that this place is the site of the very first Super Wal-Mart in all of Oregon. Yes, this is a hick town, and everyone here knows it. Nevertheless, we are proud of our heritage and our historic downtown, which includes a quaint coffee shop called the Lebanon Coffee Co. I encourage all you Lebanonians to give this place a try, as it rests within the confines of the historic Lebanon Hotel.

That is all for today, America. May God bless you and keep you safe. I leave you with a Bible verse that has spoken volumes to me this past year, and I hope it will speak to you too.

Ethan D. Stroup

2 John 1:6

First Day! January 19th, 2010

Hello, fellow internet enthusiast, and welcome to EER, the Everyday Ethan Report. Thanks for "tuning in!"

This blog will serve as your guide to the blogs following this day, so feel free to take notes, or if you have a photographic memory, that works too!

Part 1: Daily Topic. I will take you through anything interesting that has happened lately and make sure you are updated about the doings that are doing around our hemisphere of the World.

Part 2: Daily Politics. I may rant about Bush, I may rant about Obama, and I may rant about Texas seceding from our nation! Who knows, but you will get a daily does of a political rant!

Part 3: Daily Religion. I will give you a Bible verse/chapter, and you can read that and comment on my post for the day with your own interpretations or let me know how God speaks to you. My email is not a secret, so please feel free to send me a message!

Part 4: Daily Me. For those of you who live near me or know me, or if you are just interested in hearing about what is happening in a small town in Western Oregon, tune into this section and hear about my existence!

For today, let me part by giving you my very first Religion post. Read Proverbs 3 in your Bibles and leave a comment on my profile! Thanks for tuning in, and I will see you all tomorrow.

P.S. Leave your email or a link to your own blog! I love getting email, and I love reading about other peoples experiences or interests!