Part 1: Sandwiches. Yes, dear reader, sandwiches. Possibly the most glorious invention ever created by mankind is the sandwich; but how did our glorious food thing get its start? Well, I shall tell you!
In (insert long ago date here), the Duke of Sandwich (also known as Lord Sandwich) was drinking a pint of ale and trying to eat his shank of mutton at the same time. He turns to his butler, whose name was probably Jeeves, Alfred, Albert, or Geoffery, and says, "Dear God, (Jeeves, Alfred, Albert, Geoffery), 'tis so hard to eat yon shank of mutton and drink mein ale at the same time!" (Jeeves, Alfred, Albert, Geoffery) turned to him and said, "I have a great idea, sir. How about I take the meat off of your mutton bone and put it between to thin slices of bread?" Then the Duke of Sandwich said, "No, no, that's a terrible idea. But how about you take the meat of my mutton bone and put it between to slices of bread?" (Jeeves, Alfred, Albert, Geoffery) took the mutton and sarcastically said, "Excellent idea, sir. I only wish I had thought of that."
Thus, America's greatest portable food was invented.
Part 2: Obama. Our new president. The leader of our nation. The head of the executive branch. His campaign, however, was shrouded in scandal. Was he born in Hawaii, or in Al-Sadat? Is he a Moslem, a Christian, a Buddhist? No one seems to know, but with a preacher that cusses from the pulpit, I can guarantee you he is probably not under the best influence.
But America, that doesn't mean you should stop respecting him or stop praying for him. After all, God says to respect the powers he has placed over you. Doesn't that make sense? After all, even if his only goal is to further the coming Apocalypse, God has placed him there for a purpose. So, continue to pray that our new president will do his job correctly.
Part 3: Buddhism. The worship of tubby tummies. But seriously, my fellow Christians, half of America call themselves "Christians," but what are we really? Recent studies have shown that most segments of Christianity lean towards Buddhism, and almost all Christians believe that God is an absent force, no longer in control of our lives. Buddhism is on track, however. Their religion has stayed the same for hundred, maybe thousands of years. Their fundamental beliefs have not changed. So why have ours?
I'm not saying you should go sign up at your nearest temple. As a matter of fact, that is the OPPOSITE of what I am saying. I'm trying to tell you that we need to stick by our guns, America. Stop calling yourself a Christian unless you A) Believe that Christ was the redeemer of mankind, that he died and rose again to save you from your sins, and that he is the divine Son of God who is even now sitting at God's right hand looking down on you, B) Read the Bible frequently and seek the Lord's help in understanding it, and C) Pray to God the Father without ceasing. Our scripture hasn't changed, so we shouldn't either.
Part 4: Lebanon, OR. I live in a small, rural town called Lebanon, Oregon. If you look us up online, you will discover that this place is the site of the very first Super Wal-Mart in all of Oregon. Yes, this is a hick town, and everyone here knows it. Nevertheless, we are proud of our heritage and our historic downtown, which includes a quaint coffee shop called the Lebanon Coffee Co. I encourage all you Lebanonians to give this place a try, as it rests within the confines of the historic Lebanon Hotel.
That is all for today, America. May God bless you and keep you safe. I leave you with a Bible verse that has spoken volumes to me this past year, and I hope it will speak to you too.
Ethan D. Stroup
2 John 1:6
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment